Florida Man’s Drug Test Scheme Unravels with ‘Whizzinator’

A Florida man’s attempt to circumvent a court-ordered drug test took a bizarre turn when his elaborate scheme was discovered by law enforcement. James Shepard, 52, found himself in deeper legal trouble after his plan to use a makeshift device to submit a clean urine sample backfired spectacularly.

A Suspicious Stop and a Suspended License

The incident began on July 14 when Shepard was pulled over by a deputy from the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office. The reason for the stop? His license was suspended, a significant violation for someone already serving felony probation for multiple burglary and theft convictions. This initial encounter marked the first misstep in what would become a cascade of poor decisions.

According to the sheriff’s office, driving with a suspended license was Shepard’s initial offense. However, a far more audacious act was soon to follow. Shepard was arrested for violating his probation and placed in the back of a patrol car, unaware that his second, and arguably more significant, mistake was literally strapped to his body.

The ‘Jerry-Rigged Whizzinator’

Authorities revealed that Shepard was carrying a device described by the sheriff’s office as a “jerry-rigged Whizzinator.” This contraption consisted of a fake bladder filled with synthetic urine, complete with a heating pad to maintain a realistic temperature and a prosthetic penis. The exact dimensions of the fake appendage were not disclosed, but the device’s presence was undeniable.

The unfolding drama was captured on video by the patrol car’s camera. After complaining of a shoulder injury and requesting his handcuffs be moved to the front, Shepard was observed reaching into his pants. He then proceeded to remove the device and discard it onto the floor of the patrol car. The visual evidence clearly contradicted his later claim that the device was not his.

Consequences and Condemnation

The discovery of the “Whizzinator” led to additional charges for Shepard, including driving without a valid license, violating probation, defrauding a drug test, and tampering with evidence. The situation drew sharp criticism from Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staly.

Sheriff Staly expressed his frustration with Shepard’s actions, noting that he was already on “community control” despite a criminal history that could have warranted nearly a decade in prison. “This pee-brain dirtbag had already been given the deal of a lifetime, walking around on community control when he should have been sitting in a prison cell for almost a decade,” Sheriff Staly stated. He added that Shepard had “terrorized our home construction businesses and had stolen enough appliances to open an appliance store” but received a lenient sentence.

The sheriff lamented Shepard’s apparent inability to learn from his past or appreciate the second chance he had been given. “Now he has a stream of new charges after flushing away a second chance to turn his life around. Instead, he tried to trick the system. Now he needs to go to prison!”

A Failed Attempt at Deception

Shepard’s elaborate plan to fool the drug test, which involved a fake penis and synthetic urine, ultimately failed. The initial decision to drive himself, despite a suspended license and while on probation, set the stage for the discovery of his more elaborate deception. Had he arranged for someone else to drive him and his “Whizzinator,” the outcome might have differed, but as it stands, his attempt to outsmart the system led to his current incarceration.

James Shepard is currently being held without bond, facing a multitude of charges stemming from this single, ill-fated day. His case serves as a stark reminder that attempts to deceive the justice system often lead to more severe consequences.